Relationships can be the beginning of one of the most amazing experiences in life, but if they end they can turn into long periods of disappointment. This will depend a lot on the people involved and how they feel about each other. But there are some basic rules that you should learn about how to treat your ex before summarizing any kind of relationship with him or her.
Keeping the deal with your ex is a challenge that not everyone is willing to consider. For some people it is easier to cut off communication altogether, in this way the feelings (whether positive or negative) are kept hidden. Others are capable enough to maintain rapport with the other member of the relationship to the point that a friendship can be formed again.
Regardless of the decision you make, it is valid that the circumstances make you face that person again. Under these situations it is advisable to know how to proceed specifically. The idea is to avoid discomfort as much as possible, for this you must prepare internally, although if you have the opportunity to discuss it with your ex it is much better to keep a good relationship.
What do you need to treat your ex?
- Constance
- friendliness
- to meditate
- good disposition
- Overcome problems
- certain degree of maturity
- acceptance
Instructions to treat your ex
- Let go of the intensity. One of the things to consider first is to completely put intense behaviors aside. By this we mean constant calls and messages, excessive claims or spiteful posts on social media. Each of these performances should go away, regardless of how the relationship ended. Another factor that fits within the intensity is to look for it in your workplace, study or even with your family. Remember that he is your ex and that is why both have to mark a distance that allows them to heal the wounds.
- There are no guilty anymore. If the relationship has ended, it is time to put aside the blame, on both sides. A fundamental aspect, in dealing with your ex, is that you cannot continue mitigating the cause of everything that happened. It may be that both are aware of this fact or, on the contrary, neither admits their share of guilt, in both cases they should ignore it.
- The deal with your ex should not depend on the mistakes you both made but on what you are in the present. For this reason, forget the grudges and begin to value that person again, it may be difficult at first, but later you will understand each of the events.
- This can actually help you understand that you were involved in the situations that caused the relationship to end, which will help you not make the same mistakes later.
- The fights are left behind. As with the previous step, the fights have to be in the past to have a good deal with your ex. You can’t keep going around the same issues and claiming things that are no longer your domain.
- To put problems aside, you have to overcome each of the stages that come after a breakup. The most important, as repetitive as it sounds, is the acceptance that this person wills no longer share with you as he did before. After this, you have to propose to learn from what happened, it is another way to leave the past behind. Another stage of overcoming can be the deletion of photographs and writing from social networks, although objects of sentimental value can also be returned. Reaching this time is a symbol of distinction and both must be in tune in this regard. You can’t have a deal with your ex if one of you hasn’t completely moved on from the other.
- Questions and answers. By going through each of the above situations you are ready to start the deal live and direct. In this case, a final conversation about both may be necessary. In them, the necessary questions will be asked in order to clarify everything that the discussions and problems have caused in the past. This is not a conversation to reconcile as a couple, but rather to return to the beginning as social human beings. It is important that both have enough maturity to face and understand what the other has to say, otherwise it is better that it does not happen while keeping a distance between them.
- It’s a human. It may sound obvious but you have to remember that he or she is another person just like you. With this we want to tell you that he deserves a dignified treatment, no matter how horrible he has behaved. In this case, you must mark your values very well and instill kindness, honesty and, above all, respect. Regardless of whether their relationship remains close, or whether each one is on their side, what happened should not be divulged? Nor should we speak ill of the other in the presence of third parties, much less discuss the intimate details of both. As much as he is your ex, you do not have the right to spread his private life, he is a person who shared time with you and therefore you have to keep silent about what you shared during your experience together.
- Define your position. The deal with your ex will also depend on the position you have before him or her. There are certain rules that both must follow if what they want is to maintain a harmonious relationship of acquaintances, where if someone fails to comply there will be consequences in this regard. This applies especially when one or both are already in a separate relationship, where the presence of third parties must be honored. In relationships where there are children involved, this step will be essential, remember that now he is an ex with whom you have to share a great deal. For this reason in particular, the deal should be as easy as possible and, better yet, satisfactory for both. There are things that can or cannot be done and precisely that are what both have to define. The idea is to avoid inconveniences in the future, which may occur in the presence of misunderstandings. It is not difficult to do, in fact it is something that has to happen in each of the relationships of the human being, whether with friends, family, partner or in this case an ex.
- Friendship with limits. If you have decided to maintain a close relationship with your ex, even becoming her friend, you must keep in mind the type of relationship that you will have from now on. A person you just met is not the same as an ex with whom you have already shared strong emotional burdens and whose friendship can exceed trust if it is not well established. There are different deals and situations that can be shared with an ordinary friend, but cannot be shared with an ex. These facts will depend on each individual, since what is uncomfortable for some may not be inconvenient for others.
- The limits on your ex, now your friend, must be well marked so that the relationship can work. The messages and calls will not be as urgent as before, as well as the times they are seen. You can be friends with your ex perfectly, in fact it is something completely healthy, but you have to be careful about it without falling into exaggerations or paranoia.
- Words or phrases that should not be said. Whether they are friends, see or talk from time to time, “strangers” or share a family burden, there are phrases and words that should not be said in any situation. The same can be determined by both, depending on what bothers them, and although there is some that should not be mentioned regardless of what the other thinks. Phrases like I miss you, I love you or see that I need you urgently, should be eliminated from the deal between the two. As common as they are to you, they are prone to misunderstanding, especially if either of you is overly sensitive. Avoid this type of behavior, along with attitudes such as hugging or being very close to the personal space of the other individual.
- Enjoy the new. After you have learned all of the above, there is nothing left but to enjoy this person who has come back into your life but with another purpose. In addition to the fact that, as a result of the culmination of the relationship, both are going through a new stage in which they are getting to know themselves again. In these processes there is a renewal since you learn from what happened with that being that is now part of the past, in terms of a relationship.
It is important that you know how to treat your ex because, if done in a good way, they can come to define other relationships that you will have throughout your life. The idea is that you feel comfortable with that person and not that you treat them with hypocrisy because you have no other option. For this to happen, take into account everything we have told you before.
Tips for dealing with your ex
- Finally, one piece of advice that we can give you on how to treat your ex is that you do not forget the emotional relevance that person had in your life and that therefore they deserve the best greeting you can give them. Do not remain as a bad human being just because you cannot overcome certain events, rather try to grow and put aside the entire negative.
- Dealing with your ex should not be the worst experience of life on the contrary, if you take into account all of the above it will be a good experience. Especially since your sincere side is shining and you are continuing your journey without any problem.
